Couples Communication Therapy
Interrupting Communication Breakdowns So You Can Feel Close
Why Knowing What to Say Isn’t Enough
The number one reason people contact me to start couples therapy is because of communication problems. When couples struggle with communication, it often looks like this:
- Miscommunications
- Blow up arguments
- Low-level bickering
- Silence and disconnection
- Unsolved problems
They can see the problems, and they have tried several strategies to fix them. In fact, they are often excellent communicators who have risen to the top of their fields. But communicating with their spouse falls apart even when they are trying their hardest.
Maybe this is you, too.
Has anything like this happened to you?
You are on a drive with your spouse and the topic of sex comes up. At first, you’re each listening and considering the other person’s perspective. You start to relax and feel hopeful because the conversation seems to be on a productive path.
Then, out of nowhere, your partner starts accusing you of things you never said and never meant. You clarify by explaining your thoughts again. You ask what they think you meant, hoping you can clear up the miscommunication. But nothing you say changes their interpretation.
You never yell or call each other names. Still, the conversation leaves you both feeling raw and disconnected. What started with so much promise ends with both of you needing the rest of the day to recover.
You may wonder: “If we know what to say, why does it still go wrong?”
It’s hard to make sense of this when you’re able to communicate well with most other people. You know it’s not a problem of effort or intelligence. Yet you still argue. You still feel misunderstood and alone, even when you’re trying to do things differently. You know there has to be an explanation, but you’re left wondering how you keep getting off track. Something else is driving the shift from connection to misunderstanding, and it happens fast.
In my work with hundreds of couples over 20 years, I’ve seen this pattern again and again.
Ready to get started? Schedule a FREE Consultation to get all the details.
Why Knowing What to Say Isn’t Enough
The number one reason people contact me to start couples therapy is because of communication problems. When couples struggle with communication, it often looks like this:
- Miscommunications
- Blow up arguments
- Low-level bickering
- Silence and disconnection
- Unsolved problems
They can see the problems, and they have tried several strategies to fix them. In fact, they are often excellent communicators who have risen to the top of their fields. But communicating with their spouse falls apart even when they are trying their hardest.
Learn more about the process by scheduling a FREE Consultation today.
A Couples Relationship Tune-up is exactly what you need to protect your future.
What happens in a Tune-up?
1. We will complete a Couples Relationship Checkup. You will learn about the strengths of your relationship and the patterns that need to be improved or adjusted.
2. Based on the Relationship Checkup, we set clear goals that you will complete on your own or with the support of your therapist. These may include:
- Learning and practicing new Relationship skills.
- Resolving problems around daily living, equitably sharing the workload, avoiding miscommunications, and/or sexual differences.
- Developing Healthy Relationship Habits that will continue building your relationship a little everyday to create an unbreakable bond.
- Identifying potential future crises that could derail the relationship including extended family issues, personality differences, boredom, and life situation changes.
3. You’ll develop a working relationship with your therapist who will understand who you are and what you need even if you don’t see them very often. They are available for drop-in sessions as the need arises.
4. Together, you’ll choose the ideal frequency to implement your support plan. Based on your individual circumstances, you’ll decide how often to meet with your therapist to support your goals. Many couples complete the Couples Relationship Checkup, meet weekly for a few sessions, then cut back to once a month for ongoing support and accountability.
Unsure? Schedule a FREE Consultation to learn how Couples Relationship Tune-up can enhance your relationship.
Life's ups and downs can test even the strongest relationships.
- Getting engaged
- Moving in together
- Getting married, even if you lived together before the wedding
- Birth of a first child
- Weathering a child's diagnosis or mental health crisis
- Kids moving out
- Retirement
- Opening your relationship or changing it's structure
- Job change
- Relocation
- Scary health diagnosis
- Individual crises such as depression, anxiety, or postpartum
Ready to get started? Schedule a FREE Consultation to learn all the details.
Instead of waiting for a relationship crisis and then piecing your lives back together, do the work that prevents the crisis altogether.
- Feeling closer and happier with their partners.
- The relationship feels stronger with every problem they solve as a team.
- Finding novel and innovative solutions that feel like a win-win for both partners.
- Knowing how to soothe and make their partners happy.
- Being more satisfied with the relationship.
- Feeling more attuned in life and intimacy.
- Having more fun.
- Being at peace and content with one another.
- Knowing each other at a deeper level.
What else do you need to know? Ask your questions at a FREE Consultation.
Frequently Asked Questions
My partner doesn't think that we need a Couples Relationship Tune-up. How do I help them understand that this will be good for us, even if we aren't on the brink of divorce?
Couples often don’t agree on how to keep their love strong. There are so many options. A Couples Relationship Tune-up is a preventative tool that sets you up for success. One strategy is to ask them to be curious and skeptical but participate in a free Consultation to learn more. Sometimes, they need to know more specifics before committing to a process.
My spouse doesn't like to talk. I'm afraid they won't talk about our problems.
Do we need to be married to get a Couples Relationship Tune-up?
Any couple (or other relationship configuration) can get a Relationship Tune-up regardless of their marital or legal status.
How do we get started?
1. Schedule a FREE Consultation. After scheduling, watch for a confirmation email. It directs you to the Pre-Call Questionnaire. Attend the call as a couple or one of you can learn all the details. During the call, ask any questions that you have and learn more about how a Couples Relationship Tune-up can help you. If it’s a good fit for you, we’ll schedule your first appointment while we’re on the phone.
2. Before the first initial therapy appointment, sign the consent documents which give permission for your therapist to work with you.
3. Complete the 3-session Couples Relationship Checkup.
4. Set goals that fit your situation.