Expectations

Did you read the fine print? When you go on a date with your spouse, do you feel like there are unspoken expectations? It’s one of the ways couples turn date nights into disappointment and arguments.

Date nights are a powerful way to reconnect with your partner. Having each other’s full attention can help you feel prioritized, chosen, and cherished—much like you did in the early days of your relationship.

However, most people have their own unspoken expectations. You might not even realize they’re there until those expectations aren’t met. You imagine your partner has the same expectations and wants what you want. When things don’t happen as you envisioned, you may feel let down, disappointed, or even hurt.

For your partner, this can be confusing. They may feel blindsided by your disappointment, especially if they were unaware of your expectations. They, too, have a set of expectations that may or may not have been met.

The Role of Expectations in Date Night

Many couples assume that dating as a committed pair should feel the same as it did early in the relationship. After all, that’s how you fell in love, right? Therefore, doing what you did should get you what you got. And sometimes, it does.

However, you’ve grown as individuals and as a couple since you met. This is a very good thing—it means you are better, smarter, and wiser than you were. But it also means that date nights, like every other part of your relationship, may need to evolve and be renegotiated over time.

Unspoken, unrealistic expectations are often a silent thief of happiness. While expectations can guide us toward goals, they can also cause significant frustration when they remain unvoiced or unmet.

How Unspoken Expectations Derail Dates

Expectations are like daydreams about how life should be. On date nights, unspoken hopes and dreams can derail even the most perfectly planned outings. Some common unspoken expectations include:

• Expecting to have each other’s full attention.
• Hoping to have deep, meaningful conversations.
• Planning to resolve or talk through problems.
• Thinking that a date will automatically lead to sex.
• Assuming the evening will be carefree and fun.

None of these expectations are inherently bad. However, your expectations and your partner’s may contradict each other. This isn’t necessarily a problem—so long as you understand each other. But if they remain unspoken, they can set you up for misunderstandings, disappointment, and conflict.

The Fix: Clear Communication

The key to avoiding disappointment is communication. Talk openly about what you hope for from your partner and take the time to understand their thoughts and desires, too.

On a recent trip with my husband, we had to specify 1) exactly what time the date started and ended and 2) how much work each of us intended to do. Without clarifying these questions, our date would have felt disconnecting–the exact opposite of our intention.

Here are some helpful questions to uncover hidden expectations:

• What would happen to our date if the sitter cancels or either of us has low energy or feels sick?
• What makes a date feel different from just doing an activity together?
• How do you see us being intimate on our date?
• How do we end our date to carry the closeness and excitement through to the next few days?

Thinking about and communicating with your partner will help you meet each other’s expectations so your relationship continues to grow without as many misunderstandings and disappointments.

Question of the week: What do you hope for on our date? At the end of the night, what will make you look back on our time together and feel/think it was a good use of our time?

10 Romantic Date Ideas in Wheeling, WV

Now that you’ve talked about your expectations, it’s time to plan the perfect outing. Wheeling offers a wide range of date options to suit any couple’s style.

1. Stroll Along the Wheeling Heritage Trail
https://www.wheelingwv.gov/departments/Parks-Recreation/heritage-trail
Multiple access points in Wheeling.

Begin your day or evening with a walk along the scenic Wheeling Heritage Trail. This riverside path is ideal for couples who love the outdoors. Hold hands, enjoy the fresh air, and take in the Ohio River views. You might even pack a small picnic to share at one of the benches along the trail.

2. Dinner at Bridge Tavern and Grill
https://www.bridgetavernandgrill.com
950 Main Street, Wheeling, WV

Step into the cozy atmosphere of Bridge Tavern and Grill, a local gem known for its flavorful menu and welcoming ambiance. In addition to having great food, it’s right next to the Wheeling Suspension Bridge, which is now open to walkers, and the first state capital building.

3. Fun at Wheeling Island Casino & Racetrack
https://www.wheelingisland.com
1 S Stone St, Wheeling, WV 26003

For a livelier evening, head to Wheeling Island Casino & Racetrack. Test your luck at the slot machines, cheer on live greyhound racing, or sit down for a casual bite. It’s a playful way to break out of your usual routine and enjoy some lighthearted fun.

4. Sunset at Oglebay Park
https://oglebay.com
465 Lodge Drive, Wheeling, WV

Few things are as romantic as watching the sun set over Oglebay Park. Spread out a blanket, bring along your favorite snacks or beverages, and soak in the view. The park also offers delicious food, golf, the Glass Museum, and the Good Zoo. If you’re visiting in winter, consider driving through the park’s magical Festival of Lights display.

5. Explore the Kruger Street Toy & Train Museum
https://www.toyandtrain.com
144 Kruger St, Wheeling, WV

Take a trip down memory lane with a visit to this charming museum. Filled with nostalgic toys and model trains, it’s a quirky and fun way to spark laughter and conversation. You might even find yourselves sharing stories about your childhood favorites.

6. A Show at Capitol Theatre
https://www.capitoltheatrewheeling.com
1015 Main St, Wheeling, WV

Enjoy a night of live entertainment at the historic Capitol Theatre. From concerts and plays to comedy acts, there’s always something happening here. Sharing a performance can be a powerful way to connect and create lasting memories.

7. A Day at the Good Zoo
https://oglebay.com/good-zoo
345 Zoo Cir, Wheeling, WV

The Good Zoo at Oglebay Resort offers an opportunity to explore together while learning about wildlife conservation. Walk hand in hand through the exhibits and marvel at the diverse animals.

8. Ice Skating at Wheeling Park
https://oglebay.com/wheeling-park/skating-rink
1801 National Rd, Wheeling, WV

During the winter months, lace up your skates and hit the rink at Wheeling Park. There’s something undeniably romantic about holding hands and gliding across the ice, even if you take a tumble or two.

9. Sweets and Strolls at Centre Market
https://centremarket.org
2200 Market St, Wheeling, WV

For a laid-back date, head to Centre Market. Browse the local shops, grab a coffee, take in local art, and indulge in a sweet treat from one of the market’s bakeries. It’s a perfect spot for couples who want to slow down and savor the moment.

10. Wheeling Symphony Orchestra
https://wheelingsymphony.com
1025 Main St #811, Wheeling, WV

Add a touch of elegance to your evening by attending a performance by the Wheeling Symphony Orchestra. Let the music transport you as you sit side by side, soaking in the artistry and emotion of the symphony.

Get on the Same Page for a Stronger Connection

Dating your spouse is about more than just going out—it’s about creating moments that bring you closer. In Wheeling, WV, you’ll find countless opportunities to connect, whether you’re strolling along the Heritage Trail, enjoying a candlelit dinner, or skating hand in hand.

But even the most carefully planned date can lose its magic if unspoken expectations get in the way. By discussing your hopes and being open to each other’s needs, you can set the stage for a night that’s enjoyable for both of you.

If your dates feel routine or disconnected, couples therapy can help you reconnect and strengthen your bond.

Schedule a free phone consultation today to learn how couples therapy can help you strengthen your relationship and bring you closer, so your dates become a time of connection and joy.