FAQ

My partner does not want to come to couples counseling. What should I do?

Couples counseling with both members of the couple is the most efficient way of improving your relationship. However, you have several very good options if your partner is reluctant.

If your partner is reluctant.  

➡️ Your partner might be willing to participate in a Relationship Assessment. By the end, you will have goals to work on jointly outside of therapy.

➡️ Your partner might be willing to participate in a Private Mini Workshop. I can teach you the skills of having a great relationship without going into the intimate details of your relationship.

➡️ I have seen great results from working with one partner who is trying to improve the relationship. You can participate in individual counseling with the goal of improving the relationship. Sometimes a partner is willing to talk to me for one session so I can hear their side of the issue. You have a lot more influence in your relationship than you think!

When are you available?

I meet with individuals and couples by appointment. Most of my availability is on weekday afternoons and evenings with my latest appointment at 8:30 pm. I also have some daytime availability.

What should I expect in my first appointment?

After your phone consultation, I will send an email with instructions to review the initial paperwork and the first homework assignment (a Personal History Form). You are welcome to go through it prior to the first session if you want to save time when we meet. Your first appointment will be scheduled for an hour. We will start by going over the details of counseling. You are encouraged to ask any questions that occur to you. Then we will talk about the reasons that you are seeking counseling. At the end of the session, we schedule your next appointment and I collect your fees/copays.

Who does not do well in couples counseling?

My primary goal is to save your relationship. If you are looking for a professional to testify in court, I do not have the training or experience to assist you. If you are having an active affair, or you do not want to work on your relationship, then couples counseling is unlikely to be helpful. In these cases, some individual counseling might help you decide what you would like from your relationship before working on improving it.

I’m worried that couples counseling will be an opportunity for my partner to bash me for an hour. What will sessions be like?

My job as a psychotherapist is to be on the side of your relationship. I try to be as neutral and fair to both partners during counseling sessions. Couples counseling done well focuses on what each of you both contributes to problems and how to improve your relationship as a joint effort. Most of our interventions focus on the skills of having a great relationship and how to implement those skills. As much as possible, I want couples counseling to be enjoyable for both partners. If this is a concern of yours, please bring it to my attention.

Can I use my insurance?

Look for details about costs and insurance on the How Much Does Therapy Cost page.

What issues do you refer to other therapists?

As a licensed professional counselor, I am licensed to treat all mental health disorders with my training and experience. This includes, but is not limited to, counseling adults, children, and couples relating to mood disorders, anxiety disorders, and relational issues. What I am really good at is helping you deal with problems affecting your relationships. I am likely to refer you to other excellent therapists for issues related to kids, adolescents, addictions, eating disorders, sexual identity issues, and complex trauma.

I have a security clearance. Will counseling affect my ability to get it renewed?

No. Details about your counseling services will not be released unless you give written permission to do so. Attending counseling to deal with stress, relationship issues, depression, and daily struggles will not affect your security clearance. In fact, managing these issues may make you more effective in your job.